The meaning of life

‘…See how he loved him!’ (John 11:36)

John 11:32-44 (All Saints, Sunday 1 November 2015)

The Meaning of a Life is the name of a weekly TV show in Ireland where a well known celebrity interviews another well known celebrity on ‘the meaning of life’. In the course of the interview, some reasonably pointed questions are put to the interviewee.  No matter what peoples’ detachment from matters of doctrine and belief it is noticeable that almost everyone interviewed aspires to some set of values and goals that transcend their own individual selves It might be said that nature abhors a vacuum and this might go a long way to explain why various systems of over-arching belief have come and vanished over the last two centuries when traditional religious beliefs were in the wane at least in Europe. It is as if individuals and communities search for some meaning, some identity, some truth, some good over and beyond the immediately visible or touchable.  However, we might understand the terms ‘religion’ and ‘spirituality’ there is some wisdom in the following saying often quoted nowadays:

Religion is for people who are afraid of going to hell. Spirituality is for those who have already been there.

That religion was ever for sensible people who are afraid of going to hell can be difficult for many young people growing up in much of Europe these days to grasp.  For them it is like watching a session of ‘Reeling in the years’ familiar to viewers of Irish TV. ‘Was it really like that back then Dad?’. ‘Well, yes, in a way it was kind of….!’.

But what is the meaning of life for you, for me, for others?  This is no idle question. With apparent rising rates of self-harm and various behavioural addictions the question needs to be asked: ‘What is the meaning of life?’ Only the person asked this question can answer it for themselves.

The story of how Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead found in the gospel of John provides a rare insight into the person of Jesus. We are told that Jesus wept (verse 33), and that he was ‘greatly disturbed in spirit and deeply moved’ (verse 33) and that he ‘began to weep’ again (verse 35) and he was ‘again greatly disturbed (verse 38). John keeps repeating himself with the same point that Jesus was ‘deeply moved’ and ‘greatly disturbed in spirit’ and ‘wept’. Get it.

The image of Jesus weeping is rare although we are told in Mark 14:34 that Jesus was ‘deeply grieved, even to death’ as he struggled in the Garden of Gethsemane with what was ahead of him. Similarly, Jesus wept over Jerusalem in Luke 19:41. But, John gives us an important clue and insight as to why Jesus wept on this occasion in verse 36:

‘So the Jews said, ‘See how he loved him!’ 

What an insight!

Jesus deeply loved a man called Lazarus so much that he displayed his emotion in a very public way – according to John. Now, I am not sure what the cultural norms and mores in 1^st century Palestine were but I believe that in the culture in which I live today such public displays of emotion by men about other men are not frequent. In fact, any public display of emotion is rare except among rugby players while their national anthem is played!

Seriously, that Jesus loved Lazarus so much is a challenge to our clinical, intellectual-based and platonic notion of love (or the complete opposite as the case may be). Earlier on in this Chapter of John we read that the sisters Martha and Mary had alerted Jesus with a message

Lord, he whom you love is ill (John 11:3)

A number of fundamental issues arise here. First, ‘love’ is translated from ephilei (or philia) in ancient Greek (the language used to write the gospels we have). The same word, ephilei, is used in John 20:2 in the context of what happened after the resurrection (‘…so she ran and went to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one whom Jesus loved…’). Ephilei is not the term used in John 13:34 (which contains the commandment to ‘love one another’). Rather, agape or agapate is the term used there. Agape is thought to be highest and most universal love. We are invited to ‘agape’ our enemies. However, we are not asked to ‘ephilei’ our enemies! Ephilei or philia is about a strong brotherly love or affection involving warmth, loyalty and trust.

So what?

The key point is that love may be expressed and seen in forty different ways like the shades of green seen from an Irish mountain.  The Greeks referred to eros, agape, storge and philia.  We could speak of another 36 shades or manifestations of love. However, underlying all these shades of green there is greenness! Love no matter how dissected or manifested is about (i) intention and (ii) action. To love someone is about wanting what is genuinely good for that person and acting accordingly.  To say that we love Manchester United or beer or some political party or some church or some piece of music is one thing. To say we love someone in particular is quite another thing.  Love is about attitude and action accompanying it. It is, above all, about behaviour rather than feeling although the latter is important too. And to be concrete we mean loving somebody and not some thing or some group in general. Like God-who-is-love we too can participate in the drama of life where giving is receiving of life. But, unlike God we are limited in time and space so that we can only love, practically, one person at a time and one moment at a time. Hence, ‘love one another’ and ‘love our neighbour as ourselves’ ….  

So, Jesus lets it be known that he had a particular brotherly love for Lazarus as he had for the ‘beloved disciple’ (see John 13:23). The meaning of life for Jesus was to give his life for all humanity. But, he demonstrated this through a human life of ministry, healing and service where he spoke and touched and healed.

Many years ago during the ‘reeling in of the years’ a pop group the Bee Gees had a song the lyrics of which went as follows:

To love somebody To love somebody The way I love you

Singer Nanci Griffith tells it well in the lyrics to I Knew Love.

There are three moments in life that are precious and telling of its meaning for us:

1. The moment we are born
2. The moment we give birth
3. The moment we die

The three are closely linked to breath – when we start to breath or stop breathing. Breath is life and the Holy Breath of God hovered over the formless waste at the dawn of creation. The second of the above three – giving birth –is a privilege (or an affliction depending on how you see it) reserved for about one half of humanity only.  Whoever enfolds us at birth is someone who loves us from that moment and even before. Whoever, holds our hands as we slip away at the end is a significant other.  Assuming that our death is anticipated and not sudden, which significant others will be at our side to hold our hand when we slip away? Not a very cheerful question and thought, perhaps, but worth asking every now and again. It might tell us something about our lives and our priorities or lack of same.

And in reflecting on these matters we might begin to appreciate the significance of the choice of reading for this Sunday which happens to fall on the 1^st November – All Saint day in the calendar of the Western Christian churches. The choice of John 11:32-44 in some cycles of readings for this feast day (see for example the Revised Common Lectionary) connects the idea of holiness with humanity as shown in the special love of Jesus.  We love because we have been loved in the first place (by God) but also by other human beings.  The way to wholeness (the more complete idea of holiness) is through love – mutual love and generous love that does not stop loving when illness, death and other things stand in the way.

How do we know if we have loved or have been loved? The proof is given in verse 44 of this passage when Jesus says: ‘unbind him, and let him go.’ Relationships that unbind us and let us go to flourish where we are planted are loving. Those which bind and imprison in lifeless and destructive tombs are not founded on a lasting love. It is important to know the difference.

At the end of life what matters is that we can say in all honesty:

• I have known real love of another or others
• I have truly loved another or others
• I have loved because Another loved me.

And, there, is the Meaning of Life. :-)