What do you want?

‘… What do you want?’ (John 1:38)

John 1:35-42 (Year B: Epiphany+2)

When did you last read an obituary (or hear a funeral eulogy) that went something like this:

‘He was a much revered person who worked all the hours God gave to become the head in this industry and organisation. He put in long hours, cut deals, fought off competitors and saved the organisation on more than one critical moment. He received numerous honorary doctorates and one real one while he wrote six books, 30 journal articles and served on many commission and boards. He had many friends and contacts but none terribly close ones. He did make time for family life and local rotary club activities.  He will be missed but life goes on and things change. It was sad to see his health deteriorate in his final years.  He did recognise the few who visited him in the very final months at St Dunstan’s Nursing Home.  His farewell was an occasion of some sadness.’

Not often I suggest. Not at all in fact!

Write your own obituary or, better still, live in such a way that others will write an obituary that you can be justly proud of because you were a caring, loving, truthful and fair person in whatever role or responsibility was entrusted to you.

Every so often we need to stop for a few minutes, or hours or even days and ask the hard question that Jesus asked the two disciples: ‘what do you want?’ What do I seek?  Above and beyond the daily toils and struggles what is my purpose and aim in life? Truly?

Sometimes there are not immediate or clear answers. It may involve some trial and error. ‘Come’ and ‘and you will see’ was Jesus’ reply when asked ‘where are you staying?’

‘The next day John was there again with two of his disciples. When he saw Jesus passing by, he said, ‘Look, the Lamb of God!’ (v. 35-36)

The two disciples who followed Jesus belonged, initially, to John’s people (was Jesus also associated with them?).  John let go of his own disciples. These disciples were prompted by John and they set off on a new and unexpected course.  We should always remain open to the inspirations and promptings of the Holy Spirit especially when they come through someone wise and someone we can trust.

It turns out that one of the two disciples was Andrew – brother of Simon Peter. What was the ‘first thing’ Andrew did? He went and told him and ‘brought him to Jesus’ (v42). The call to discipleship is pressing, urgent and appealing. In fact, irresistible. Our first and natural instinct is to share it with others and, perhaps, they too will follow.

‘So they went and saw where he was staying, and they spent that day with him. It was about four in the afternoon.’  It was late in the day and as often happens in the Gospel of John light and darkness, day and night play out in a deep exchange of meaning.

And ‘Jesus looked at him and said, ‘You are Simon son of John. You will be called Cephas’ (which, when translated, is Peter)’ (v42).

There is a touch of irony here. The one to be called ‘rock’ was not quite rock-like when confronted with an opportunity for martyrdom on the night of Jesus’ betrayal.  Not even Peter could resist his human nature and betray his Lord at a crucial moment. Did this stop him from going on to witness to Jesus and, ultimately, be led to death for his sake? No.

Jesus would say to Peter much later in the Gospel of John:

‘Very truly I tell you, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.’ Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, ‘Follow me!’ (John 21:18-19)

Following Jesus is the road to freedom. But the paradox is that it leads to constraint too. This is especially so in those called to lead as Peter was. But grace is never lacking.